hey ppl..

here to blog again!
yesterday i went for cg outing at serangoon garden.. than i at there nth to do.. but than after the outing i left at 3 plus.. was planning to go look for ming jie they all.. but than i didnt.. i felt something is not rite.. so i decided not to look for them..i was walking alone at taka.. was feeling a bit lonely.. went around the shopping centre to look for formal shoe alone.. was like call esther to accompany me.. but she didnt want cos she with ming jie they all.. so i went alone.. walking at taka for a few around and feeling lonely.. than after 1 hours i decided to go home.. i was like totally left out.. but feeling that i have make a right choice .. than i reach home.. i turn on my comp and than surf the net for a while.. than around 6 plus.. esther called me.. they were asking me if i want to go play pool.. but i am already home.. and i dun think they will want me to be there as they short of 1 person to play pool.. so i am the extra when they needed someone.. than i told esther i have reach home le.. in a tone that feel like not caring like that u all de prob not mine! than i than watch tv programme than use my mum laptop to upload picture.. than went sleep at around 12am..

today..
i wake up around 1050am like that.. than i went bathe.. than was thinking what is gonna be like today..feeling kind of bored.. wanting to ask xin hao they all if they want go out.. but i didnt.. as i dun even think they want to go out with me at the first place..feeling so left out.. so i decided to call my cousin to go my grandma house and slack..so ii told her i meet her at hougang mall.. i took a train there.. than went to buy the shoe which i need for tml.. than went to library to borrow book.. than buy KFC and then went to my grandma house ..using comp.. to watch drama DVD de.. than surf net.. it was like boring to death!but than sam chatted with me.. than he say they are going out.. he ask me if i am going.. i say i dun know anything.. no one have told me about this outing .. was like.. maybe i should start forgeting them as they have never really put me in their ming.. i am just an outsider.. than nvm.. is like maybe it would be good that i have my own life without them.. i have prove myself wrong time and time again.. as in i have never believe that this friendship will end up this way.. it really hurt me deep as i have put so much time and effort on this friendship.. this 3 year plus was all a dream.. it smash my heart and i feel like crying.. how they treat me like this.. it all in my dream that all this friendship will last..next year all going to ITE.. and diffent courses le.. our friendship is sinking le.. next year i believe they will be totally clean forgotten about me .. than i will live my own lives and they lives their.. cos i now will not prove myself wrong again..THEY WONT CALL ME OR CONTACT ME AGAIN!! I WILL BE CLEAN FORGOTTEN BY THEM! i think this will be what i think.. or maybe they also.. as i never know what is their thinking.. i now focus on who are really sincre to be my friends i dun want to know a prank ppl who are not really tresure friendship! so i believe from today is a brand new day and new start for me as they will live out of my life and they wont contact me anymore.. this should be my mindset... as this years gonna end in 1 month plus and i believe this left over time i should do what i can do to make myself happy.. without them will i be happy ? this is gonna be a challenges for me as i will not get used to it!i wont think so much.. say all whatever u all want as i believe no weapon form against me shall prosper!!

i need ppl to keep me in prayers!

*grow spiritually and be more sentitve to the spirit
*find a job
*able to make new friends who tresure friendship!

thk ppl and till here than.. cya in my next post!! love ya!!

XiongChangingWorld! Saturday, November 10, 2007