5/07/2008 saturday

didnt go for daiko as i was sick and whole body just cannot make it.. than afternoon went to church as i got ushering today.. and is serving charlie.. i was like quite better than morning.. but it just like giving my strength.. with god i am healed by his name.. was serving as a acupoint..and was scold by an old uncle cos i dun allow him to go up the as the zone is closed.. his member is upthere waiting for seat.. he scold me with a fierce look and ask me to use my brain.. and i was like.. that moment.. i feel like scold him back.. but it stop me.. as this is the house of god.. and i am serving unto god and not him.. so i smile and let him go up.. he keep look back at me with a fierce look.. but i ignore him.. thank god i didnt scold back if not will kena complain le.. than service was quite good.. pastor mike preach about disappointment.. i feel the presence of god so strong.. it ask me to respond .. i responded and have the demon casted out.. spirit of disappointment..i will not be discourage anymore.. i will be more positive.. after service.. went for cellgroup debrief.. than was like long time nv talk and fellowship with them.. but i just become a bit guilty lah.. cos i dun have the time for them as i have been busy with cca,school,ushering and my own stuff.. as i am also taking o level this year... what abraham say must be rite.. but.. did he ever think why i choose cca instead of in the cellgroup.. first.. i just feel thing change thru this one year in the cg.. i just feel there is really a bit of changes.. although cg have united a bit.. but.. the way they fellowship.. meet every weekdays to have a fellowship.. doing a same old thing again and again.. like playing bridge.. it kinda of boring.. i would spent my time on important thing like.. self studying.. do my project.. planning for my cca.. it will help me a lot.. just to prevent to hurt anyone.. i felt i have change.. i dont care people around me.. the way they say about me.. i am just the way i am that god created me.. when people tell me to do thing.. i will try my best to help last time.. but now.. i feel it worthless.. waste of time.. no one actually appreciated me. dun want to say too much about this.. i no longer care much .. after that i call larry as he sms during service to ask me if i am going fei lou with my cellgroup.. i told him i not going as my mother have already cook my shared at home.. so i went home.. than eat.. watch tv than sleep..

6/07/2008 sunday

was at home the whole day.. play computer.. and slack one whole day.. watching tv.. and stuff lo.. than at night went to the old house near to the mrt station which my mother and her bf ' s friend usually hang out to eat.. than listen to them talking.. than walk home from there with my brother.. than reach home.. watch incredible tale.. msn with my secondary school friend.. as the malay ask me to ask the chinese if they want class chalet.. than the conversation turn out to be an arguement.. i argue with xin hao lah.. was like.. keep saying and complaining about his hair.. is like a bit annoying..which piss me out.. he say i hurt his feeling.. ya.. i admit by the remark i pass to him.. i have cahnge as i have say.. they are the one who cause me to change.. i become more self centred.. yes i admit i am.. but did they ever thought about my feeling last time.. no one understand me.. i have to bear with all the trouble.. i plan class outing is not simple at all.. did anyone offer to help.. NO! than i did so much.. did they ever understand and appreciated me.. NO!all i get was complain here and there..i am already so tired and drainned le.. i dun know what more i can do.. maybe to give up.. give up on my sec school class.. give up on my CCA.. give up on USHER? or even give up going for CG.... i just feel that i got no one to share my problem with.. i become to lose faith in trusting the people around me.. i am no longer the happy guy i used to be.. i feel like crying.. after all the arguement.. i went to my room.. and pray to god.. tears flow down continuously i just cant stop it.. i feel god telling me.. press on to him.. for he will never forsake me.. and he will help me help me to pull thru this trial..after that.. i realize that i have actually pray for more than an hours.. so fast it was 3am .. than i went back to sleep..

07/07/2008 MOnday

school start today and it was youth day for all sec school.. i woke up late.. and have a quick shower and than rush to school.. was late for 10 minutes.. than miss loh was teaching again.. i was like.. why is she teaching us again.. i just feel she is a bit biased and her rule and stuff is quite unreasonable.. well.. she is the teacher.. i have no rite to say bad about her.. she is so strict.. and today know i have to take two new module i was like.. again.. but this time no more chemistry.. thank god.. i must study well and get my target of GPA3.5.. than after that have break.. went to cafe 1 to eat.. than head for miss priya lecture.. was like.. boring lecture.. her rules is more better than miss loh.. and she is not biased at all.. she is fair.. i feel so encourage by her.. as she really concern about my studies.. when i also dun even care.. she say she believe in me and ask me about my grade for last semester.. i told er.. she say if i continue to study hard i can easily get A for the module.. i feel that she is such a nice teacher.. but alway get bully by us.. haha.. really appreciated her encouragement.. i will try my best to score well for this semester..thank god for placing such a caring teacher .. after the lecture went for LLA than.. have a project to do.. was thinking who to partner.. than after than dimsiss went to TM with david and kee to buy prop for noticeboard but end up didnt buy.. than eat KFC and than went home... watch TV and research stuff for daiko noticeboard and do the classtime table.. than watch tv than blog...

till here then... blog again...

Standing in awe of Your grace

Setting my feet in Your ways
Entering into Your presence

To behold You face to face

God of all Heaven and earth

Holding me in Your embrace

Unfailing love that surrounds me

Oh..God I stand amazed

Chorus

My Jesus, My Lord

You're the love of my life

Wherever You go

Wanna be by Your side

No longer I

But Christ living in me

Serving You for all eternity

My eyes set on YouI

n this race that I run

No longer my ways

Let Your will be done

Make me a servant

My heart's ever true

Clinging to the cross

I'll follow YouI'll follow you